What 51 Years of Cerebral Palsy Taught Me

What 51 Years of Cerebral Palsy Taught Me

When I was younger, I remember thinking that once I turned 18, my cerebral palsy would somehow magically disappear. I have no idea why I believed that, but of course, it didn’t happen.

My birthday is August 27, and this year I’ll turn 51. To be honest, I’m still wrapping my mind around turning 50!

My body has been through a lot in 51 years. I’ve experienced two amazing pregnancies and C-sections, breast cancer, vocal cord paralysis, a hiatal hernia, countless colds and cases of strep throat, and the everyday wear and tear that comes from a body that is always moving—whether I want it to or not.

Yet, I don’t feel 51. My mind still feels like it’s 30.

Over the years, I’ve lived through discrimination, domestic violence, verbal abuse, grief, the loss of loved ones to suicide, heartbreak, and the exhausting feeling of trying to fit in. But my life has also been filled with incredible joy. I’ve experienced the love of my husband and children, meaningful friendships, the privilege of teaching, and accomplishments I once thought were impossible.

People often ask what happens as you get older with cerebral palsy. While cerebral palsy itself doesn’t shorten life expectancy, it can place years of stress on muscles and joints. For me, swallowing has become more difficult, even though I love to eat. Some days my muscle spasms are frustrating and exhausting. Aging with cerebral palsy certainly brings new challenges.

But if I could go back and talk to my 18-year-old self, I wouldn’t tell her that cerebral palsy would disappear.

I’d tell her something much better.

I’d tell her that at 51 she would be a teacher, a wife, and the mother of two incredible children. I’d tell her she would have lasting friendships, a growing writing and speaking ministry, and good health despite the obstacles. I’d tell her that she would accomplish far more than she ever imagined.

And I would tell her that she’s not finished yet.

Today, my daughter is a sophomore in college, my son is entering eighth grade, and I treasure the close relationship I have with both of them. My husband and I have been married for 16 years. Like every marriage, we’ve faced challenges, but we’ve also shared countless moments of laughter, love, and gratitude.

I’m active in my faith, my church, my family, and my community. When I stop and look at everything God has given me, I realize I have so much to be thankful for.

This year, I’ll continue to write, speak, teach, and be a mom. I’ll welcome new opportunities as they come, and I hope this is the year my book is published.

Fifty-one years of cerebral palsy have taught me that life isn’t about waiting for your circumstances to change. It’s about discovering that joy, purpose, and gratitude can exist right where you are.

I may have imagined that cerebral palsy would disappear when I was 18.

Instead, something even better happened.

I learned that a meaningful life was never waiting on my disability to disappear. It was waiting for me to live it.